As we travel through life's twists and turns, I've become more interested in something called the inner child. It's about how our past shapes how we feel and act now. It's like a light bulb moment that helps us understand why we do what we do.
So, I've decided to dig deep into my inner child – the part of me that's like a younger version of myself, whom I call little Janice. I'm curious about what she's like and what feelings from my childhood still affect me today. I've realized that my experiences as a kid and teenager have a big impact on how I see things and the choices I make.
First, I want to recognize times when my emotions take over. Sometimes, I get really caught up in something, but then I realize it's because I'm making a big deal out of it. At first, I thought it was just me being me, but then I saw that it's connected to my inner child.
As I've thought about it more, I've noticed that I sometimes see myself as a victim in tough situations. It's like I think bad things happen because I'm not good enough. I used to feel sorry for myself and think I was always getting a raw deal. Looking back, I see how this way of thinking has held me back since I was young. When things were tough, I'd cry (self-soothing) and keep my feelings to myself, not realizing I have the power to change the future by acknowledging the past. Which explained that in my formative years, I grappled with the challenges of communication, hindering the development of meaningful relationship as there is always fear in me that I am not an effective communicator when it comes to communicating how I feel deep down.Consequently, friendships formed in my twenties often faltered, leaving me feeling inept. There are moments when I feel vulnerable and uncertain of my abilities, as if I am unable to fully recognise my potential (at times I do doubt myself). This stems from a lack of affirmations during my upbringing particularly focused on my shortcomings and assigned labels. Which eventually lead to a persistent hunger for acknowledgment and validation for my efforts.
Now that I've figured out this part of little Janice, I am learning to change the way I react in tough situations. Instead of putting myself in the victim role, I did go through few questions:
Was it really my fault due to negligence?
Can I deal with the problem directly?
Do I feel sure I'm doing the right thing?
If I can answer yes to these questions, I take charge and try to fix things. But if I'm not sure, I admit my mistakes and say sorry if needed. Doing this has made me feel more in control and less like a victim.
Have you ever thought about what things trigger strong feelings for you? Those are your core emotional triggers.
I've made a table from the book: Going Deep: How the Inner Child Impacts Your Sexual Addiction by Eddie Capparuci. To help us have an overview of our inner child's characteristic. Will be diving deeper into each of the characteristic. Each of us has had different experiences growing up, so our inner child might be a mix of different types. Let's explore together and learn more about ourselves.
Some of the inner child that we could see in this table would be Bored Child, Unnoticed Child, Unaffirmed Child, Emotionally Voided Child, Need for Control Child, Entitled/ Defiant Child, Inferior/ Weak Child, Stressed Child and Sexually Abused/ Stimulated Child and no one really has the same inner child(ren) as another being.
Do you recognise any of these trigger? Drop me DM so that we could explore further into this! Is always good to have someone with us in the healing journey :)
The journey to inner healing starts from acknowledging.
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