Have you ever observed your self-talk? Have you considered the narrative you feed yourself from the moment you wake up to the very last moment before sleep?
According to Health Direct, our self-talk has the potential to impact our mental health and relationships. If our thoughts are predominantly negative, we're likely to feel bad consistently, which can be draining and challenging to overcome. The constant negative chatter can be overwhelming, and breaking free from it may seem challenging, even though we are somewhat aware of it.
SHOULD
One of the most common self-talk keywords is "SHOULD."
Decision Making: "I should accept that job offer because it provides a stable income." • Notice: The emphasis isn't on finding joy in the job.
Goal Setting: "I should read this book, but I don't find it interesting." • Notice: The excuse is not finding joy in the topic.
Reflecting on Past Actions: "I should have handled the situation differently. Now, I feel guilty about my reaction." • Notice: You've identified alternative solutions for future situations.
Social Expectation: "I should attend the wedding even though I'm not in the right headspace." • Notice: Putting others before yourself - is that really what you want?
Setting Priorities: "I should prioritize work over personal life to advance my career, but I value time with my family." • Notice: Is that reciprocal to what you'd expect from your family?
Healthy Habits: "I should cut down on sugary foods, but they're my go-to comfort when stressed." • Notice: Could you substitute with healthier alternatives?
The constant use of "should" reflects external standards and expectations, inducing a sense of judgment and potential self-criticism. It conveys a predetermined path, limiting creative problem-solving and contributing to frustration.
SHOULD VS COULD
When "should" is present in self-talk, it implies a belief that we're not enough. Replacing "should" with "could" instills a sense of empowerment, indicating awareness and acceptance of our actions, opening up possibilities for decision-making.
Consider these sentences and notice the difference as you read through them:
"I should wake up early in the morning." -> "I could wake up early in the morning."
"I should finish reading the book." -> "I could finish reading the book."
"I should stop eating junk food." -> "I could stop eating junk food."
"I should listen to them." -> "I could listen to them (upon evaluations)."
"I should declutter and clean my house to clear my headspace." -> "I could declutter and clean my house to clear my headspace."
So, here's the real gem: the strength you show? It's all in the words you choose. So go ahead, embrace the "could" in your self-talk. 🌟
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